Increase Respect & Results

At least once a week I talk to a client, friend, family member or teammate who has had an encounter with someone that left them feeling disheveled, frustrated, caught off guard or confused. Perhaps a recent interaction you've had with someone is already coming to mind.  

The reality is - most of us are that person to someone that we know, lead and likely care about. We can be the person who leaves someone else feeling disheveled, frustrated, caught off guard or confused.  If we make people feel this way, it's likely we are quickly losing their respect. 

Knowing you and I, our best shot at not doing this is by intentionally approaching how we communicate. If you were hoping for a strategy on how to deal with others who do this to you - keep reading. But for now, let's keep the attention on us.  

There's one hard and fast rule we can follow that gives us a great opportunity to gain respect, be fully understood and see results: 

It's confusing and frustrating when we casually bring up really heavy, weighty topics and points of conversation.  

If it's a serious topic, it shouldn't be said in a sentence or in passing. If it's a serious topic, it shouldn't be popped off in a text message. If it's a serious topic, it shouldn't be said passive aggressively or in an unclear way. If it's a serious topic, it should include active listening and clear signs of understanding. If it's a serious topic, it should have a time and place on the calendar to be looked at.  If it's a serious topic, it shouldn't be initiated over email or addressed after hours. 

For example, things like onboarding, training, hiring, firing, development, poor performance, business strategies, feedback and budget should all be discussed formally and during business hours. Formal doesn't have to mean sterile - it just has to mean you're showing up in a way that's intentional, thought-out beforehand and clear.  A great way to talk about formal topics is across the table (literally or virtually) from someone - I know, imagine that?!? But seriously - we are all so fast-paced and wanting to go-go-go that it's VERY common to bring up huge topics quick and fast. 

We may do this so often that we talk about the same big, formal topics around the clock.  There's no stop or start to our endless dialogue of massive business decisions or points of discussion. Point blank - we cannot do this and expect to garner the respect from others. 

I was talking to Coach Lindsay about this and her take on this topic was a MIC DROP MOMENT, here's what she said: 

That^. Over and over again. 

So, the next time you're tempted to bring up something really important casually - resist the urge. If the topic is serious, set the standard and take it seriously. Schedule a meeting, plan the agenda, prepare yourself to be a good listener and be concise in your communication. With this approach, I bet you'll find yourself gaining respect as a leader and you'll be much closer to the desired outcome. 

**AS PROMISED: if you feel like you keep getting pulled into someone else's poor communication - stop falling for the traps. A nod of acknowledgement and a clear directive that you'll be happy to talk about such an important topic with some designated time so you can be fully prepared will do. Don't be the soft place for poor leadership and communication to land. When you respond, you affirm that this is how you like to communicate. Don't you dare do it ;). 

Honestly, I can't say it enough - thank you for reading. Thank you for being here. Be sure to click forward and send this to the inbox of a fellow leader.